*Sigh* Of course one teenager’s opinion is being heralded as the gospel truth and getting headlines.  Of course I am talking about Bristol Palin’s “shocking” revelation that “abstinence for teens is not realistic”. Being the spawn of Sarah Palin is what makes this all news but the statement itself is what I find interesting.

 For her of course it is unrealistic because she failed at achieving it.  But that hardly makes her an  expert in the matter as to whether it is realistic or not.  In short it is realistic.  Many teens have accomplished it and I know that many have tried and failed.  I, and my wife personally accomplished it.  We started dating when she was 16 and I was 17.  This was not back the “Leave it to Beaver”/”Pleasantville” wonder years of the 50’s; as if they were innocent.  No, this was late 70’s and early 80’s, with all the sexual innuendo, the obligatory and unnecessary nude scene in movies and peer pressure (both real and fantasy) of the those around us who were mating liking rabbits.  Heck, this was even before AIDs and the worst thing you had to worry about either could be treated with antibiotics or at worse give you reoccurring sores, but not die.

So, it is realistic.  What is unrealistic is to go too far down the slippery slope of messing around and expect to be successful.  It is also unrealistic to think that all other potential mates are going to honor your desire for abstinence.  You may have to lose that super hot girl or guy because they do not agree with your values.  It also unrealistic to surround yourself with sex in movies, friends, tv, internet and books (what’s that?) and think it does not tempt you.

As a teen gets older they may change their mind about the whole abstinence thing they were so committed too when they were 12 and 13.  But be honest, it is not because it was unrealistic.  Rather it was because the goal lost its value, you were weak or the cost too high.